Indonesia Mengglobal Essay Clinic is our effort to provide tangible help for Indonesian applicants who want to study abroad. This essay clinic is not meant to showcase ‘the perfect essay’, but by analyzing other people’s essays (what works, what does not work, what’s good, what’s bad), we hope you can learn how to write an effective application essay and how to continuously improve your own essay. We also accept essay submissions. Click here to learn on how to participate!!
Note on the Essay
It was not a coincident that I was trusted to lead alumni division in 50th Dies Natalis of [NAME OF PROGRAM], since I was known as The Event Organizer back then. This event was aimed to celebrate [NAME OF MAJOR]’s milestone within 50 years and I was in-charge to develop strategic planning for engaging alumni and strengthening their connection with [NAME OF PROGRAM] Program. In order to engage nearly 4.000 alumni in meaningful ways, my strategy was to divide my team into smaller team based on the class of alumni, since I believed that different approach was required for older and younger alumni. Younger alumni are more likely to get involved in the digital world, thus I used social media campaign as a bridge to deliver clear, creative and impactful message. While more traditional communication was applied to outreach our older alumni, such as warm phone call and personal meeting. This strategy had resulted in attendance of 75% of contacted alumni in the main event of [NAME OF EVENT].
In this event, we would also like our alumni to give back to our program by conducting sharing session. From alumni list, I identified potential guest speaker for this session and figured out ways to access them. At first, I doubted my networking skill, but then I realized that building network is less a matter of skill than of will. Not only is it useful for learning directly from individuals I approach, but also the benefits of growing my own authority are just as powerful. My approach focused on their giving on a cause and I finally managed to set an agreement with 9 alumni, exceeding our initial target of 5 alumni.
To build mutual relationship with alumni after the event had ended, I regularly shared newsletter and sent e-mail to share relevant information and resource. No matter whom I am trying to build a relationship with, I will always treat that person as a friend rather than a business contact. However, it was still beyond my expectation that right before my graduation, my current supervisor who also happened to be one of alumni that I used to approach offered first career opportunity to me. By first-hand experience, I learned that effective networking can be achieved by developing relationships with other people and providing mutual support and encouragement.
Networking is nothing without added value. When I become a Chevening scholar, I will be advanced in many ways therefore it would be my priority to give back to Chevening and society. As a scholar, my strategy will be to engage other scholars and alumni who share similar passions in energy and environment to find global solutions that can be applied locally. Utilizing support from impactful Chevening alumni network and my network (LIST OF NETWORK), I plan to initiate Energy101 class to educate youth about energy and environment. Lastly, as a Chevening Alumni, I will actively participate in Indonesian Chevening Alumni Association to strengthen relationships among the United Kingdom, alumni and scholars.
Review from Stefa Yuwiko – University of Newcastle Australia
Recipient of Vice-Chancellor’s Scholarship & Juris Doctor (JD) Scholarship for International Students
- However, please remember that you need to plan your work with the basic rule of making a paragraph (i.e. main sentence, supporting sentences and example in needed)
- Look at the keywords that are in the prompt and deserve some highlights:
Chevening is looking for individuals with strong networking skills, who will engage with the Chevening community and influence and lead others in their chosen profession.
It would be good if you can organise your ideas coherently (e.g. strong networking skills (1st paragraph), followed by engagement, influence and leading example in the next paragraph)
- I notice that the way you write it down isn’t an academic writing. Please make sure that it is okay for you to do that.
- I notice that you have too many passive sentences; it is always good to have more active sentences.
- Please check spelling errors as well with regard to single/plural noun.